So I had a rough week last week it started off well but by Tues I was feeling really run down! I knew I was fighting a bug so I started taking Zinc, it boosts your immune system I learned. It really works! By friday physically I was feeling better but emotionally I was a mess! I think I have mental problems and craziness does run in the family, sorry mom but it's true! My highs are high but my lows are really low, scary low. I'm not fishing for compliments here or trying to have a pity party it's just how I feel sometimes. I looked at a picture of Steve and I when we were dating and that set me off. I felt old, I couldn't recognize the girl in that picture. She was so young, pretty and hot! What happened to me? Then I start obsessing and loathing myself. I know it's crazy. I'm not old and I'm not ugly and I'm not fat and I am a good mother but it's never good enough, yah know what I mean? I gave it to Heanenly Father and begged him that I might feel better about myself and by Saturday I was feeling better. I still hate my hair and clothes but what are you going to do? Atleast I'm not crying and laying around on the couch! You might be thinking how can a girl that exudes so much self confidence be so insecure? It is all an act. I am insecure and feel so inadequate most of the time. I know these issues will rear their ugly head again, they always do and I will keep pressing onward trying not to let it get the best of me. Most importantly I will remember that I am a daughter of God and he loves me just the way I am with all my faults and imperfections. So here's some advice if you too go through depression, take a shower and pray! It works! Thanks for listening!
Monday, February 25, 2008
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11 comments:
Amen!! I had such a hard week last week with Jim gone too. By Wednesday nobody got dressed/bathed and I just did nothing all day. Hardly helpful. I couldn't believe what a difference a shower made on Thursday. Once I was dressed, I felt better about myself and was able to get things done. It's still hard. Hard watching your body do yucky things as it has a third baby, hard to do the things I need to do, but a shower and a prayer do make things better. :) Thanks for opening up and sharing, Nikki. You're awesome.
I think you just described my day today. Or at least pretty close. Thank goodness for modern medicine (Prozac). I think I would feel like that all the time if it weren't for that. :)
Give me a call, I wish I could do something for you, but please know we all go through this from time to time and I see so little fault in you but than again I'm a bit bias, I beleive your a beautifull girl and a loving Mom and Daughter. I think you have been reading those star magazines for so long, you must know that those girls don't really look the way they show them in the magazines they are airbrushed to the max.
Isn't it nice to know that you're not alone? I feel like this very often, it's just one of my trials through life, learning how to deal with it. I'm glad that you're feeling better. You're an awesome mother, the boys are so lucky.
You never cease to amaze me!
I can talk about my depression issues, AFTER the fact, but not so much while they are happening. Just know that you aren't alone. It's normal to be hard on yourself, as long as it doesn't last long. Be careful with the "scary low" days.
IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS AMAZING TO ASK FOR HELP! In my eyes, it would make you super woman! Love yah sweety! Keep on..keepin' on!
I second everything everyone said because I am never any good with words, but I wanted to let you know that we love you.
love andi
I agree. Showers are amazing. I remember When I was sick and just felt so dreadfull I would end up taking 3 showers a day! I love my shower. One time the water heater broke so I had to take an ice cold shower for a couple days. I HATED IT!!! I love my water heater.
I'm so sorry you had a tough week. I'm glad you're feeling better. Please know I'm always here to chat when it hits you, alright? It's funny because I always look at you and think, "She's so young looking, and vivacious, beautiful, and fit, and expressive, & funny." I just love you to death, and admire you so much, Nikki!
With the horrible, sick week I just had, I never felt more icky & ugly. My house and my kids all went to pot right alongside me. I was a pretty pathatic sight, and Miss. Monthly was visiting, which never helps. It's amazing what a fresh shower and a renewed outlook can do for a woman! And yes, of course prayer to get you through it all! Thanks for sharing.
We all love you. You are the type of person that everyone likes.
So Nikki, call me whenever.You know I need to be more social so call! If I have the car I can come over too. Sometimes a girl needs a good venting session, and a cry!
Sorry you had a bad week. I think we all go through it sometimes and wonder, what's the point? Nikki, you are so beautiful and have such an awesome personality. You are so confident - and you can't fake that! You must know deep down inside that you rock!
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