Monday, February 25, 2008

Feeling Better!

So I had a rough week last week it started off well but by Tues I was feeling really run down! I knew I was fighting a bug so I started taking Zinc, it boosts your immune system I learned. It really works! By friday physically I was feeling better but emotionally I was a mess! I think I have mental problems and craziness does run in the family, sorry mom but it's true! My highs are high but my lows are really low, scary low. I'm not fishing for compliments here or trying to have a pity party it's just how I feel sometimes. I looked at a picture of Steve and I when we were dating and that set me off. I felt old, I couldn't recognize the girl in that picture. She was so young, pretty and hot! What happened to me? Then I start obsessing and loathing myself. I know it's crazy. I'm not old and I'm not ugly and I'm not fat and I am a good mother but it's never good enough, yah know what I mean? I gave it to Heanenly Father and begged him that I might feel better about myself and by Saturday I was feeling better. I still hate my hair and clothes but what are you going to do? Atleast I'm not crying and laying around on the couch! You might be thinking how can a girl that exudes so much self confidence be so insecure? It is all an act. I am insecure and feel so inadequate most of the time. I know these issues will rear their ugly head again, they always do and I will keep pressing onward trying not to let it get the best of me. Most importantly I will remember that I am a daughter of God and he loves me just the way I am with all my faults and imperfections. So here's some advice if you too go through depression, take a shower and pray! It works! Thanks for listening!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

No more pictures.

So I am totally bummed. There will not be any more pictures on my blog unless someone has a camera and emails me the photos. It is my own fault, I have no one else to blame except for the loser that stole my digital camera out of my car! I never lock my car. I hate my car and wish someone would steal it! I usually don't have anything of value in it besides carseats, tennis rackets, and sweaters. I took my camera to the park the other day to take some pictures of the kids with the dog and forgot it in my glove compartment. Of coarse the one time I left something of value in there it gets robbed. It could have been so much worse. The dog jumped out of the car and started barking at this kid as I was unloading everyone so I went after him and left my keys and my wallet in the backseat! Lucky for me they just went through the center console and glove compartment. Can you believe they still robbed me even though there were scriptures sitting right there in the front passenger seat? Some people have no conscience.
How awesome is my husband? I felt so bad, it's his camera, he didn't even get mad at me! He had every right too, I would've been annoyed! He didn't want to make me feel worse and what good would yelling at me or lecturing me be? He is so wonderful and easy going. I never worry about him yelling at me or treating me badly. He doesn't care about "stuff" he just wants me to be happy. Too bad "stuff" makes me happy!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

We miss Woody!

For the past year I've really been wanting a dog. Everybody tries to talk me out of it but I think it would be good for the boys. We dog sat Einstein, the Nelson's dog, last year. Steve thought it would make me change my mind, it was a great experience. My friend Alicia from the gym went to Vegas on Sat. for 3 days and she didn't have anyone to watch her dog, ofcoarse I jumped at the chance to do it. A little more of a challenge because this was a big dog and still a puppy. His name is Woody, he's an American Bulldog, so playful and so good! We had the best time with him. He loved chasing us around the park and playing fetch. Steve got a little jealous at night because he would snuggle with me. We miss him so much! Wed. morning Ben kept crying for him, luckily we can visit him and we'll get to watch him again maybe in April! So anyone out there that nedds a dogsitter we'd be more than happy to do it as long as it won't pee or poop on my floor!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Best baby in the world!

Every week I trade babysitting with my friend Becky. I watch her kids, Camille and Tanner, for two hours on Thurs. and she watches mine on Fridays. It's great I love it except for one thing. "Baby Tanner" as we call him is the best baby and so cute! I love him and every Thursday he makes me think I could handle another baby. He is so good and happy! But who am I kidding? It's only 2 hours and I'm sure he's not like this with Becky, kids are always better for other people than they are with their parents.Why are babies so much more enjoyable when they are not your own? That's right because you can give them back! I won't be fooled and don't worry I won't be trying for another one anytime soon, atleast until the other two are in school?